ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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