I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
