I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
