I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
