worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
