there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
