Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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