Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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