I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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