Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your penis caused this!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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