every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
