Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
