My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
