I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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