We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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