69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
