whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
