he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
