the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
