1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
