don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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