I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
