Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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