his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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