You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
