So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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