No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
