Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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