3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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