Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
