Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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