Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
