I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
