we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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