erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
