I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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