Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
