u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
