I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
