you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
