Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
