I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
