How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
