Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
