covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
