We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
