You can't special order awesome
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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