He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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