doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
