it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
