That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
