so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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