please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
