you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
