I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
