You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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