Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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