Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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