Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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