"it" just moved
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
