you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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