So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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