dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
