You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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