This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
