the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
