So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think i have herpe
just one?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
well you can't waste a boner
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
