i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
